Hidden Valley Road - Inside the Mind of an American Family by Robert Kolker

Hidden Valley Road - as the photo above implies - I listened to this on audio rather than traditionally reading it. I find that non-fiction on audio is so much more engaging, and this one was no exception to that rule. I really enjoyed hearing about the scientific treatment history of schizophrenia in America from about the 50s to today, as well as the parts about the family history itself.

In the Galvin family, of Colorado Springs, Colorado, 6 of the 10 boys in the family developed schizophrenia, the other 4 boys and 2 girls did not. When the boys first started showing signs of outrageous behavior and psychotic breaks, this must've been really difficult for their mother. After all, we're talking about the 50s-70s here where most ill-behaved children were believed to have just "not been parented well." The huge debate of "nature-vs-nurture" has been around the 1870s but for inability to prove the nature aspects (things like genes, DNA), it was just so easy to point the finger at the nurturer (usually the mother, but whomever was the principle care-giver) or to some traumatic incident in childhood. Thus, as a mother in high society, such as the Galvins were, the need to present this "perfect family" or to avoid scorn and the spurn of distrust, their mother - Mimi - had a hard way to go. She did attempt to get help for her sons, but perhaps where she went wrong was in the way she made excuses for their behavior, the way she coddled and gave them all of her strength, leaving little (so the others claim) for the healthy children. Several of the children claimed abuse of various kinds from the affected boys such as physical and sexual abuse. To think that this was overlooked or missed as a parent must be devastating. I wouldn't have wanted to be in ANY of their shoes - not the boys so unlucky to have developed schizophrenia, nor the parents, nor the healthy children. I really think this book probably only hits the edge of the full gamut of the nightmare it must've been to be in this family.

All this aside, the most interesting thing was how many of the children developed this in one family. The research that came from studying this family (and others with multiple members positive for schizophrenia) is amazing. Eventually they were able to pinpoint certain DNA/genes that can cause the development of the disease. They studied the brain via MRIs and other technology to confirm that the brains of those with schizophrenia look different than those of a brain without the disease. It also, much like autism it is not necessarily obviously present at birth - and develops over time, albeit autism much earlier in life - with schizo usually developing in late teens or early 20s.

In the realm of genetic research, I believe they did find the genes that can develop into schizophrenia, but the fact is, it doesn't necessarily mean it will develop. But why? An interesting spin on nature vs nurture is the discoveries/assumptions made about a chemical substance called Choline. Choline is one of the substances found in cigarettes. One researcher, upon noting that schizophrenia patients craved constant cigarettes, found proof that the choline in the cigarettes produced a calming sensation and that is why for those patients, they heavily used them. The researcher then tried to tie that to diet, to see if choline consumption in diet could affect the fetus's chances of later developing schizophrenia, however, the only way to do this was via a clinical trial that will last for at least another 20 years. They took patients who had the genes of schizophrenia, and when they became pregnant, had them take supplements that increased choline, then will study those children over the next decade or so to see if they develop schizophrenia or not. Will the patients with the placebo (rather than the choline) be at greater risk of developing schizophrenia? Will choline in utero be the answer to eradicating this brain disease? It's just fascinating to think in less than 50 years, this may be the key to ending Schizophrenia and perhaps other brain-related diseases.

If we think on mental illness as a brain disease, it takes so much more of the stigma from it. One cannot help from which genes one comes from, and these types of ailments are just a combination of genes - it's really a luck of the draw genetically. What if we could eradicate all brain disease related mental health issues from us as we eradicated polio? Just from something as "simple" as our nutritional supplements? It's amazing to think of how complex our bodies and brains are.

As for the audiobook, I'll give the narrator a 4.5 - I enjoyed listening and he was engaging in the telling of the story.

As for the story itself, I do have some criticisms - such as - I felt like the story did not have to be 13 hours long. I would've rather it have been about 8 hours long, because that is where i found myself starting to wish it was just over. Personal problem perhaps. LOL.

I also am a bit confused about why only ONE of the sibling's children were discussed. Perhaps the others did not want to be involved in the project, but it would've been interesting to get some statistics on how many of the brothers with the disease have children that developed it? Did any of the children without the disease manage to have children with the disease? In addition to following the children of Choline through a clinical study, it would be great to see Mimi's descendents also participate in a study for a few more generations to see how many of 12 children produced children with the disease as well? This piece of the puzzle for me is missing.

The ending, focusing on Lindsey's family (one of the two sisters), was really not needed unless we were going to look at everyone's children for context. I disagreed with Lindsey's assumption that since she was able to get her son (anxiety) expensive help, that this is why he "turned out so well" - that may be true, however, her son did NOT have schizophrenia. And she does not have 12 children to take care of. I also did not care for Lindsey's judgement of her sister's decision to cut ties with the family. Lindsey found strength and healing through serving her family; her sister found strength in divorcing herself from those that hurt her. In the world of therapy, probably each of those avenues has it's merits. No two people can heal the same way, so I although I personally in my heart think that families should work to heal together and keep their relationships, I totally understand why for some so abused would choose not to - and that's totally their right and they should not be made to feel less than for choosing it.

Overall I'd give this audiobook a 4 star rating, but I do believe it would've been better if it had been shorter, and if the statistics of the family after the decades of hearing them grow up, would've been a nicer closure. I still recommend this book, it was very informative on the disease and very eye-opening on the history of the disease. Those of you interested in psychology, psychiatry, or neurological studies, would especially enjoy this book!

Dance Away with Me by Susan Elizabeth Phillips

In this contemporary story, Tess Hartsong flees her life after she realizes she just can't cope with the unexpected death of her husband. It is three years since and she still is full of anger and restlessness and sorrow, so she uproots herself and decides to go to the mountains of Tennessee where she can heal and reimagine her life. She chooses a  remote cabin in the woods, where she locks herself up teetering between despair and intense anger and restlessness. When she shakes off her sadness, it's anger that drives the wild dances she does on her porch, along with blaringly loud music, even in the rain, in her underwear - and why not -- she's in the middle of nowhere with no neighbors for miles. Or so she thinks...

Along the path comes a man yelling at her to turn down the music at whom she yells right back. This man is Ian North the IV, a famous street artist who ironically came from NYC to the "middle of nowhere" to reimagine his art, to find focus. Instead, he finds Tess, who is disturbing his solitude. Along with this grumpy miserable man comes a very pregnant woman after him, sending him back to their place, a refurbished old schoolhouse now a beautiful mountain home. This woman, Bianca,  who Tess describes as "ethereal" a "wood sprite" promptly removes all of her clothes while talking to Tess, insisting that she's uncomfortable in them due to the heat and her pregnancy, but is really just the type of woman to jump into immediate intimacy with people. She strikes up a friendship with Tess, but there is friction from Ian, who seems to resent Tess's presence at every turn. 

Ian just wants his art to evolve and still be relevant. Bianca just wants to play house and have her baby. Tess just wants to heal from the unexpected loss of her young husband. But just as in real life, they wont all get what they want, and what they want will change and evolve, sometimes by choice, sometimes by fate.

Being familiar with the beauty of the Tennessee mountains, I found this setting really unique and I loved the small town in it, and how it evolves along with the newcomers. Ms. Phillips did an excellent job of creating believably flawed and cautious characters, while also creating some delicious sexual tension, as well as developing some friction between Tess and townsfolk.

Although contemporary, or women's lit, is not my usual genre (historical fiction), I do enjoy reading something that has a familiar modern feel that has the tension and plot to move it along and make it enjoyable, especially when I enjoy the characters, as I did in this story.

I decided to read this and found it relaxing and enjoyable. After this last week being full of stress, national, and local turmoil, this book was a safe haven to ease my frazzled feelings, and soften those edges in my mind. I appreciate a book that can do that.

A big thank you to my contacts at William Morrow who somehow put me, and keep me, on their contact lists and sent me this book to highlight and review. 

I recommend this book to anyone seeking a sweet story that will have just the right amount of tension vs heartwarming moments! I'll definitely be looking for more books by this author.

The Book of Longings - by Sue Monk Kidd - a Review

I was at the beach with my grandgirl Gia this Tuesday, and decided to bring this book along to take some photos on the beach. I thought these broken shells gave it a feel of antiquity, as the sand and the oceans are ancient. To look at the ocean, feeling the sand beneath your feet, is to see and feel the past, the present, and the future, all at once, which is probably why it seems to be so breathtakingly beckoning.

I love historical fiction, yet I've read so few set in this ancient time-frame. I read this book in about 3 days' time and enjoyed every minute of it. This was my first Book of the Month selection, and as I said to them, I picked well and so did you! The Book of Longings really hit that sweet spot for me. It had many themes I enjoy - mainly - a strong female lead (in this case a few) that are willful and independent and break out of the molds set for them.

In this book, the main character Ana, knows herself from childhood - she knows she has longings that go beyond what is expected (or allowed) for her and being a child in a rich household, and being an only child, some of her "whims" are granted to her by her father - such as being tutored to learn other languages and how to read and write them as well - being given papyrus and ink to write upon. She truly comes into her own when her aunt comes to live with them. Her aunt is such a strong character and is truly a woman who has strong longings of her own. She recognizes the spirit of Ana, and tries to nuture her into becoming whatever it is that Ana longs for. She teaches Ana to listen to her longings and to respect and nuture them herself as well. She gives her the "allowance" to be herself, even though the rest of her family are bitter about it. It isn't until her father attempts to betroth Ana against her will that she first spots Jesus by the side of the road, and becomes sort of enchanted by his kindness and handsomeness.

So let's discuss the Jesus aspect. He was in this story tangentially as the husband of Ana, a strong willed woman who spent most of her married life separated from him, be it because of her own perils or adventures, or his agendas of being a prophet and leader of his people, but wow, even the author herself gave pause to this project for many years fearing that it wasn't "the right time" to go there. In the end, Sue Monk Kidd quoted the great Virginia Woolf who said, "Everything is the proper stuff of fiction," giving permission to all writers to go for it, and I'm so glad she did! By making Jesus an actual side character, only "seen" from Ana's perspective, it made him so real as a person, and his character was written as secularly as it could be while maintaining his grace and kindness and putting them to work in practical ways. In this story he does not discuss with Ana the depth of his relationship with God or that he is the Messiah. All of that Ana learns from his disciples and from others, a title that arises while they are separated. The story does depict the crucifixion (as we knew this was inevitable) and those scenes with Ana, Mary his mother, Mary Magdalene, etc. were so harrowing. I truly felt their grief, horror, helplessness, and compassion. It made me cry, and not because of any religious reason, just because here was a beloved man being slaughtered, really for no reason other than betrayal and political reasons. The anxiety and sadness I felt for his family was intense. By incorporating Jesus into this story it did elevate and lend to some of the story plots and it was really done wonderfully well. I would hope that people who are sensitive to Jesus being rendered as such a secular character will see the grace with which his character was portrayed and not be offended by it. I think the author could'nt have done a better job of towing the line between grace and secularism. Kudos on a job well done.

The story is really about Ana, and her longings to be ... a writer, a storyteller, a respected, independent woman, and she becomes all those things and more. To see this evolution is so much fun, and I was in her corner, fighting with her, every step of the way.

I highly recommend this book to lovers of historical fiction. It was a joy to read and so entertaining, a 5 star read that has sat with me for days and days since I finished it. Now -- go read it!!

THE ANCESTOR - BY DANIELLE TRUSSONI

When Alberta receives an official document, all written in Italian, she goes to her estranged husband to see if they can suss out what's been received. It turns out to be about the Montebianco estate, of which Bert is the inheritor, and it beckons her come in person to Italy to go over the estate details.

I really enjoyed this book, particularly the second half after she's arrived at the castle to meet/receive her inheritance. The castle environment was so well written, truly gothic and remote and dark. The journey that Bert (Alberta) embarks upon surrendering herself to the castle went places I was not expecting it to go. I say surrendering because she is flown in in the dead of winter by helicopter, and is basically dropped there without knowing what the true nature of her inheritance is, for as we find out, it is not just THINGS that she inherits, but a true legacy that ties her to her ancestors.

I felt especially touched by many passages in this book, particularly this one, "....i knew, as they vanished in the half-light, that they were not gone. I carried them in my body. My ancestors lived in my bones, and in my blood, in the connections of my nervous system, and in the unreachable recesses of my consciousness. They would always be with me..."  I choked up a bit on that now that my mother and grandmother are passed on and have become "my ancestors" - I think of this physicality that continues to link us together even those they are no longer alive in their own bodies, still they live on in me. This book made me feel that presence, so thank you for that...realization.

There were also other very poignant moments in this story on the nature of the mountains, the smallness of self compared to the universe, the simplicity of certain societies and their vulnerability because of that simplicity. To quote some more beautiful passages, "Time, millions and millions of years of it, more than I could even imagine, had passed through these gorges, moving fast and treacherous as snow melt. The mountains had stood against it, strong and indifferent. The fierce beauty of it all made me tremble with humility and terror. What was I --what were any of us --compared to this?"  and on page 241, "It was moonless, without a cloud in the sky. Stars filled the darkness, and uncountable explosion of brilliance, proof that we were just one small piece of an immense, burning universe." Most of the writing was very straightforward but then I'd run into sentences such as the above, and I'd just swoon. 

I honestly was hoping for a slightly different more unrealistic ending but I will admit that the choice made by the character was not surprising. I just wanted more time with Aki .... I would've liked to have seen that gone on longer.

All in all, due to the writing, the intensity, and the uniqueness of the storyline, this had me enthralled to see where it was heading and when it got there,  I enjoyed where I was. So much so, that I actually didn't want to leave. I highly recommend this book and definitely will read more by this author!

THE GRAPES OF WRATH - JOHN STEINBECK

This classic Pulitzer Prize winning book certainly needs no introduction or commentary from me on it's merits, but I just finished this book sobbing, and I felt the need to discuss it.

Let's start earlier. Last year was the first time I'd read anything from John Steinbeck - it was "Of Mice and Men" which was such a short story I thought I'd start there. I don't remember much of my feelings towards that book but I know that it sparked an interest in me to read more from Steinbeck.

The second book I read of his was "East of Eden" - which completely solidified my love of Steinbeck.

When I was done reading it, I told my father, "this is his masterpiece!" and I meant that. What I loved about it was the graceful way he retold the Cain and Abel story and its ramifications on the family, the way his characters were so fleshed out, and the philosophical dialogue- I just adored that  book! I enjoyed the loving way in which he described his California valley - it just really appealed to me and made that book one of my favorites of all time - which I will reread.

Then this book! I won't say it's a favorite book of all time, but I do consider it another masterpiece of Steinbeck's! First of all, the man writes the most PERFECT sentences! He knows how to talk about everyday happenings in such a way that feels so natural and puts you right in that scene. His dialogue again, always meaningful - and so poignant. 

The discussion of poverty in America during the great "dust bowl" of the 30's, and the great migration from the midwest to California, is what this book is all about. It centers around the (fictional) Joad family and their journey in particular to "california" where they assume there is work aplenty for farmers and where their "American Dream" of a good paying job and a solid home can be realized. Or can it? 

This book was so brutal in part because I know this was written out of a true historical scenario, even though the individuals in it were fictional. To know that so many families back then literally starved just breaks my heart. The part where the fruit is being sprayed with kerosene, ruined before anyone could eat the excess that couldn't be sold, just burned me up, as I'm sure it did Steinbeck, for he wrote of how this despair fueled anger and how the greed was ruining the country. Things of this nature happened and were appalling.

I believe this book is teaching the downside to capitalism when it goes unchecked. The greed depicted in this book is inhumane. I think John Steinbeck was certainly making a case for some form of socialism, which we did institute via welfare and other varying types of assistance. Although many today look down on socialism and the welfare/social security and other programs that we fund through our taxes, this book truly highlights how very horrible things can go when there are no such programs in place. People really would starve. 

It's interesting to read this almost a hundred years after it was written and to see how far we've come as a country, as a society.  There are so many philosophical discussions in here between characters on the subject of the needs of the individual vs. the needs of the collective, on the rights of free commerce, on the need for unions to cease auctioning jobs off at the lowest wage (which created a starving workforce - such a disgrace)....and many other themes around poverty, power, government, and the nature of people. I'm sure quite a few have written dissertations around the discussions in this book. I'm just writing to express how much this book meant to me - my mother and grandmother lived through those times. I wish I had read this book 25 years ago so I could've discussed it with both of them. How I wish I could talk to them at times like these! But I digress...

Can we just take a look at how desperate the Joad family is at the end? How earnest they were to work hard and repeatedly came up empty handed? How quickly their dream of California turned into a nightmare.... I had been reading this book for about a month - I had to read it in installments because honestly, it was one of the bleakest things I've ever read and I needed time away from it now and again. THAT LAST SCENE!!!!!!!!!! I broke down and sobbed my eyes out. And for Steinbeck to leave them there - this was just so hopeless that i sobbed and wanted to throw the book across the room because the author didn't save them for me, but left them hanging. I thought about how I'd feel in their shoes and I think I'd want to just lie down and die. It was TOO MUCH. Overwhelmingly hopeless. 

My favorite character was the mother Joad. I think she was Steinbeck's favorite character as well because she just embodied hope and strength and forbearance. Interestingly, I had the same thought as Steinbeck, which made me happy to see that he had made the mother say, which I'll have to paraphrase unfortunately since i cannot find it, something to the effect of ... we think times are bad, and they are, but life keeps moving forward and things keep improving slowly, imperceptibly, but nothing stays stagnant forever, and progress once made will never slip backwards.  

It took me 50 odd years to learn this, but history is important, if you don't know where you've been, you may recreate those same mistakes, you might not learn how far we've come, and you might not appreciate how good we have it. Yes, I said it. And I meant it.

As for me? I wouldn't have been able to bear it. Have you read this? Could you have lived like this? Count your blessings we no longer live in such bleak times. All things Covid aside, these times depicted here - way more devastating. 

ANYONE BY CHARLES SOULE

5 STARS ONE OF MY FAVORITES OF THE YEAR!


This sci-fi story, just published on 12/3 (get it immediately) should be voted BEST sci-fi/thriller of the year! I am even putting it above Recursion by Blake Crouch and I also loved that book! If you loved Recursion or Dark Matter, I think you should read this book immediately!!! One of my all-time favorite stories and here's why:

I love the idea of being able to be "anyone" - and this book is set in a future where that can happen via transference of your "consciousness" into another body altogether. The book "flashes" (lol) back and forth as the technology is being created by Gabby White (present time) who goes through hell to bring her invention to the world, and also the "future day" through a young woman named Annami, who is an ex-employee of the company that runs the flash world wide, who is trying to take it down for abuses beyond anyone's imagination.

The whole premise of being able to switch bodies, is so amazing. Think of being able to flash into another person who is on the opposite side of the world? Someone completely different from you; someone of a different sex, age, race, economic class, etc?? !! The book definitely discusses Gabby's hope for her invention to teach the world to truly SEE one another for what we are, not what we look like. Imagine not being able to judge someone on their looks anymore, Gabby muses. It would be a world changing event! But just as she knows the many ways it can be used for positive change, she also knows the secrets of the company that runs it.

This book had me turning pages until very late last night. I could not put it down. Such a well written story with characters that are so many moral shades of gray, a storying plot that has you racing through chapters to find out what happens next as each character's perspectives endure horrific things to bring their goals to fruition.

I see all you other bookstagrammers out there with this book! Get to reading people! This book is fantastic!

***** 5 star Thriller Read - Could not put down! *****

 

I really enjoyed my reading experience with "Woman on the Edge." It was all the things I love in a great thriller - harrowing tension, psychological mistrust, family intrigue, a past that affects the present, and an unreliable narrator. It was full of conflict and twists, and action and intrigue that had me turning the pages non-stop! I almost finished it in one sitting except that it got really late and I passed out! This was a really quick intense read.

New mother Nicole, tortured by her past experience as a nanny, fears constantly for the safety of her new baby girl Quinn. Her paranoia and over-reliance on pills to calm her constant panic quickly exacerbate what is already a stressful time - being a new mom. Her quick dissolution from super efficient and competent CEO of a leading brand to an unhinged mother desperate to keep her daughter safe, even to her own detriment, was extremely fast and at times I wondered, could this really happen to someone? The believability all is due to a past traumatic event related to being a nanny as a teen, and being stalked by that child's mother over the period of years. The paranoia she has is therefore justified at first with the thought that this jealous, angry mother could still be wanting to "attack" her or take from Nicole her precious baby. Aside from this, things start happening around the house that make her doubt her sanity vs. intensifying her paranoia that someone is after her and the baby. Did she forget to lock the door? Did she leave that album out? Did she see someone watching her, stalking her on the few occasions she left the house? One day, she decides that the only way to keep Quinn safe is to get her to someone who will care for her, someone she can trust. Morgan seems just like that person, except, to Morgan, Nicole and Quinn are strangers. When Nicole approaches Morgan in the subway, clutching Quinn, eyes desperate, looking disheveled, insisting that Morgan take the baby and "protect her" Morgan is startled and confused. Standing dangerously close to the tracks, Nicole shoves the baby into Morgan's arms whispering frantically, "love her for me...Morgan" and jumps onto the tracks on an ongoing train.

Traumatized, Morgan is left holding a baby, unsure what just happened. Her main concerns were to do as instructed, "keep Quinn safe" and she goes on quite an adventure while trying to do so!

This book will have you whizzing through it, as it is very well paced and will keep you guessing on who is out to get Nicole, Quinn, and Morgan! If you like psychological and/or family type thrillers, this one will be for you. In fact, if you just like thrillers, fast paced reads, and nail-biting, pick up this book as soon as possible!

WOMAN ON THE EDGE BY SAMANTHA M BAILEY - out for Publication on Mar 3, 2020